


acta, non verba

by deathlytireddan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dnp appreciating each other, M/M, Pretentious af title, Slow cookers lol, Snuggles and back rubs, implied sex, mostly just fluff, set in the near future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-18 15:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17583869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathlytireddan/pseuds/deathlytireddan
Summary: A few moments in between “Phil’s Grand Birthday Party” planning.





	acta, non verba

**Author's Note:**

> (actions, not words) 
> 
> (not that words aren’t important too I just liked that for the title ok) (titles are hard people)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this :) I had a lot of fun writing it
> 
> Happy birthday to our favorite angel bean!

“Phil.” Dan stops in front of the almond milk, “reckon we’re out?”

Phil grunts noncommittally. He’s got half an eye on the frozen deserts an isle over and the other on his phone. “Martyn wants cake.”

Dan sets a carton of milk in the cart. “I’m sure he does.” He nudges Phil along with a pointy elbow. Phil pouts behind him.

“Right. I guess that’s everything?” Dan stares down at their alarmingly full cart. The yogurt for Cornelia has tipped over onto the coffee creamer Kath likes, almost pushing itself out of the cart. There’s all sorts of cheeses and meats and breads, eggs enough to feed an army and a half, and—

“Philllll. I thought your mum was bringing cake?” 

Phil covers the plastic container he’s just put in the cart with a head of lettuce. “She isn’t sure she’ll get it on to the plane, Dan.”

Dan scoffs and shoves him out of the way with the cart. “C’mon then, you - carrot.” There’s a toddler a few feet away, looking up at him with huge eyes and he can’t quite bring himself to swear. 

Phil grins and falls into step beside him. “We have everything then? Definitely?”

Dan looks down at the poor cart, wheels squeaking despairingly. “We bloody better.” 

Phil giggles. “Should we add another fridge to the list?”

“Yeah,” Dan snorts.

-

They get home with minimal difficulty and manage to carry everything inside in one trip. Still, it’s a workout, and Dan’s arms are aching after he sets the final bag on the counters. 

“I call cleaning the lounge!” Phil calls over his shoulder as he makes his escape. “Have fun putting that away!” 

“Ugh.” Dan opens the fridge. He sort of wants to curl up inside a vegetable drawer.

Whose idea was hosting a “Phil’s Grand Birthday Party” with both their families again?

Phil’s head pops back around the corner. “And don’t blame me when we literally don’t have room in our huge ass fridge. This was your idea, Mister!” 

“I’m not regretting anything at all! Don’t put words in my mouth,” Dan yells after him.

Oh. God _damnit_.

He has the worst ideas. If Dan doesn’t get...something good after all this for his birthday, there’ll be hell to pay. 

“I didn’t say anything about regret Danny boy!” Phil singsongs back. 

Dan groans and bonks his forehead on the fridge. 

-

That night they curl up on the sofa, something playing on the tv and an empty popcorn bowl on the floor that Phil’s probably going to trip over. Dan yawns into Phil’s shoulder and rubs his eyes. 

Phil pats his arm absently, eyes fixed on the screen. Him and his terrible reality tv. It makes good background noise for naps, at least.

Dan’s a lump of tired human after cleaning the house top to bottom and slaving away over the slow cooker Dan’s mum had given them for Christmas. They’re those people now. The kind who use slow cookers.

Naively, they’d thought the whole point of a slow cooker was to cook food with less effort but it had kept making a hissing sound like it was going to implode and Phil kept threatening to unplug it after Dan had finally got the thing started.

Fucking slow cookers.

Dan pulls the blanket over his head with a moan. “I changed my mind. No one can come tomorrow. It’s canceled. Life is canceled.” 

Phil pauses the tv, surprisingly, and peels the blanket out of Dan’s fingers. He brushes away an eyelash. Dan blinks slowly up at him.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks too seriously. 

Dan nods. “Yeah.” He sighs. “Sorry. Stressed. And shit.” 

“Don’t apologize.” Phil leans back against the sofa and stares up at the ceiling. It’s a pretty off white. They’d debated the plaster pattern for almost a week. 

“Dan.” 

“Mmhmm?” 

“Why are you doing all this for me?” 

It takes him a minute to answer. He watches the paused tv screen, lip in his mouth. 

“I don’t know. No, I mean, I want to do something nice for you. We can’t do Christmas together, we’d need more than a new fridge. And I know you wish we could somehow. I do too, but you really do.” He shrugs. “This is like - Philmas.”

“Oh.” 

“Oh,” Dan echoes with a smile. “And you’re welcome, because I need a chiropractor. I knew we should’ve gotten the higher counters even if it’s not a good investment or whatev-“

Phil cuts him off with a tackle, arms wrapped tightly around his middle. Dan spits out a mouthful of hair and rubs at Phil’s back, trying not to laugh. Or blush, or something else embarrassingly sincere.

He’s getting over that, over feeling the need to hide how passionately caring he really is, but in moments that feel so suddenly intense like this it’s still hard. 

“Thank you,” Phil says into his neck.

“Sure, bub.” 

Phil climbs fully into his lap and pulls away enough to smile at Dan, looking between his eyes and his mouth. “Thank you,” he says again.

Dan pulls him forward and kisses him. He needs Phil to know how much he cares. They smile into it, teeth clacking together. Phil gets it. He always does. 

“Dan-“

Dan fumbles on the sofa until he finds the controller and switches the tv off, arms settling around Phil’s waist under his shirt, thumb rubbing at his hip bone. 

Phil mouths at his neck, biting at his pulse point. 

“Mmm,” Dan sighs out. “Come here.”

“I am here,” Phil laughs softly. 

“More.” Dan looks up, eyes dark and round.

“Okay.” Phil leans back down. 

-

“Oh shit!” Dan sits up with a jolt.

“Wha’?”

“I forgot the fucking slow cooker!” 

There’s a pause. 

“Doesn’t it...cook slow?” Phil mumbles.

“It better! Oh, it better!” He fumbles around for a shirt or something because it’s cold as fuck and ends up just wrapping the discarded blanket at the end of their bed around him. 

Phil yawns and rolls back over, blissfully warm and oblivious.

-

Dan wakes up with a yawn. He rolls over onto his back and stretches. He has that strange feeling in his muscles and behind his eyes of having overslept, that needs a couple cups of coffee and a good painkiller to ease. 

He sits up with a jolt. His phone reads well into the morning, only a few hours to go until the guests that’ll be staying overnight arrive. 

“Phil!” He yells, tapping wildly at his phone. His alarm’s been turned off.

“ _Phil!_ ” He scrambles out of bed. 

Phil appears in the doorway, dishcloth slung over his shoulder. “What? Are you okay?”

Dan waves his phone at Phil. His heart is beating a mile a minute, anxiety and anger mixing into a hot mess. “You turned off my fucking phone!”

“Because you were up until five in the morning fighting with our kitchen appliance!” Phil shakes his head. “I read all your notes, which, why do you need so many notes?”

“Phil!” Dan screeches. He’s probably bright red right now. 

“Okay, okay, sorry. I read all your notes and everything’s mostly done. I just need to put the bedding on in the spare.” 

Dan faceplants into the bed. He tries very hard not to scream into his pillow or spit on Phil’s. “You’ve taken years off my life, man.” 

Phil rubs his back. “Not as many as you’ve taken off yours, you fucking idiot.”

Dan hits him over the head with a pillow.

-

The doorbell rings. 

Dan jumps, instinctively looking to Phil for help. He’s left his hair to the last minute, of course, and he’s desperately working a bit of product into it. 

Phil is sitting on the floor watching him, with the excuse that he doesn’t trust Dan to run and look in the oven again if he’s left alone. Really, he just likes watching Dan get ready, but that’s an unspoken acknowledgment.

“Will you get it?” Dan asks weakly. He’s not very nervous, not as much as he thought he’d be, but having to welcome family to something he’s spent so many hours preparing is suddenly too much. 

Phil stands up and squeezes his shoulders quickly, kissing his cheek. “Of course.”

“Thanks.” Dan tugs at a curl and watches him leave with a smile. 

-

Dan groans in their pillows. “Oh my god, marry me.”

Phil is sat on his bum, kneeding at his tight shoulders and placing the occasional kiss on the back of his neck. He finds another knot, presses down on it with his thumb for a moment and then releases it. 

Dan lets out a giant sigh and sags into the bed. “I don’t deserve you.”

Phil scoffs, lifting himself onto his knees and tugging at Dan until he finally rolls onto his back. There’s a pillow crease across his cheek and his eyes are a tired red. 

“What?” He grumbles. “Why’d you stop?”

Phil flicks his nipple. 

“Ow!”

“Don’t say that. Please.”

“Say what?” Dan crosses his arms defensively.

Phil rolls his eyes and lifts himself off Dan, settling up against his side. Dan lifts an arm begrudging, muttering something about Phil being bony. 

Phil doesn’t say anything, frowning up at the ceiling. He looks properly upset. 

“What?” Dan asks again, nudging at Phil. He doesn’t sound defensive anymore, just curious and a little worried. 

Phil bends his neck awardly to look up. The pillow crease on Dan’s face is fading a little. He rubs at it. “You deserve me,” Phil says. “I deserve you.” 

“It was a joke, you know.” 

“Still.”

“Okay, Phil. God. Message sent and received.” Dan winces; Phil is watching him grumpily. “Sorry.”

Phil opens his mouth. Dan covers it with his palm. “You know what I mean,” he says. 

Phil bites at his hand. “I do. But stillll. Look what you did for me. My family - our families loved it, Dan.” He rests his head in the crook of Dan’s neck. “Thank you.”

Dan melts into him, just a bit. “You’re welcome. And I’m sorry,” he adds under his breath, a bit sarcastically. He can’t help himself, sometimes.

“Suuure you are.” Phil pokes at his ribs, exploratory, and Dan giggles.

“What’re you doing there?”

“Making sure everything’s alright in there. I know _I’ll_ never be the same after seeing you with that slow cooker.” 

Dan scoffs. “Leave me alone. And don’t mention that goddamn thing ever again. I need therapy like, every hour now. Fuck me.” 

Phil snorts into Dan’s neck. It’s gross and wet so Dan licks him. Then Phil kisses him, which seems like a natural enough progression for Dan to kiss back and pull until Phil is on top of him, bony elbow digging in and a knee hanging off the bed.

“Why are we so big,” he whines between kisses.

“Shhh, be quiet. It’s better for everyone.” 

“Excuse me!” Dan has to break away to laugh. “I thought you were telling me how much I deserve you, Philly.”

“Shhhh.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading 
> 
> [reblog on tumblr](https://mylionbabe.tumblr.com/post/182436265845/acta-non-verba)


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